Attention Facebook Community: My Muse has gone missing. She was last seen Friday October 24th, 2014 sitting in my office singing “My Heart Will Go On” from Titanic while talking in a British accent and trying to sit in my cushion chair wearing a hoop skirt (I have no idea where she got that).
Her inspiration techniques have become a bit eccentric, so I may have told her to get lost, which I’m afraid she took literally because, let’s face it, she is the definition of drama queen.
I discovered a ransom note demanding some obscure things (large bottle of orange soda, Oreos, Saved by the Bell T.V. box set season 1… none of these things seem practical) but I’m nearly certain it was written in her handwriting.
She has the tendency to disappear from time to time in order to prove a point, but usually by now she has returned, smiling from ear to ear and divulging happily about the great adventure she’s just been on, as if she didn’t purposely leave me alone to suffer through trying to write a scene in which her help would have been valuable. Although she does usually bring me souvenirs, a porcelain elephant from India where she battled a power hungry genie, a dried starfish she got from the island of Tahiti where she nursed dying mermaids back to health, the Frozen t-shirt she got from Florida when she went to Disneyland to… well ride roller coasters (she said it was necessary so she could better understand fear, but I think she just wanted to go to Disneyland).
I’ve been trying to work all week without her, hoping that at any moment she would storm back into my office, voice ablaze with song and constant chatter about how exciting it is to be alive, but nothing. The silence has become deafening. Not to mention my writing productivity has slowed, or rather stopped.
If you see her please tell her I’m sorry. As much as it pains me to say, I miss her unnecessary, extravagant, mostly-annoying antics and I promise to work on being nicer. Also mention that if she comes back I promise to finish building out the additional closet space so she can store her large wardrobe that could possibly clothe a small nation.