Like Father, Like Daughter – The Dekker Blood Runs Thick

Like Father, Like Daughter – The Dekker Blood Runs Thick

Let me set the scene for you: I’m speaking to my mother on the phone, she’s driving to the gym and I’m still dressed in my PJ’s, because I’m a writer so I’m rarely caught in normal clothes during working hours. I’m explaining, while pacing around my office, about some fundamental shift I’ve discovered in the universe, something that will forever change my life, and I’m talking at warp speed, because that’s the way I usually talk, energy gushing through my words, excitement dancing in my steps. I feel completely alive and when I finally allow for a break in what has been a constant stream of dialogue, my mother chuckles.

I want to know why, of course, and she says, “You sound just like your father.”

This hasn’t been the first time she’s said this to me, and I’m guessing it won’t be the last. Because, let’s face it, I am my father’s daughter. We are similar in some frightfully, familiar ways. There may have been a time when I would have denied even being related to him, but as my teenage rebellion slipped, and as I began to let the unfolding of my personality happen, I found myself seeing more and more of him in me.

To start, we are Dramatic Feelers. Anyone who knows either of us can attest to this. When I was a little girl, my parents would always tell me I was either black or white, there was never any room for grey. I was all in or all out, you were my favorite or I hated you. To quote my father, “I’m either the king of the universe, or the scum of the earth.” We never feel anything halfway. This makes us dramatic, the life of the party, or at times a real bummer to be around.

You’ll see this in our writing too. The darks are darker and the lights the brightest. We long to feel the entire struggle and all the joy. The roller coaster is real, but we love the ride.

We are Forever Storytelling. This is a trait people recognized in me early on. For example, I was young, maybe nine, and a Girl Scout, naturally. We were having a pray time for something, I don’t really remember… but I do remember thinking in that moment that I’d wished I had a great story to tell. So, I made one up and told my Scout Leader that my dad was traveling the world, when he was really just a couple towns over on business. When my mom picked me up, the Scout Leader said they would all be praying for my father’s safe return home. Well, you can imagine how that turned out for me.

I got caught doing this often when I was little, before I learned to channel that energy onto a piece of paper and keep fiction where it belongs. My father is the same way. He’s always explaining the ways of the world in analogies and bedtime tales. It inspired my imagination then, and now, often times, my novels.

Also, we are both Obsessive Compulsive. Surprise, surprise. We don’t like things out of place. Part of this is due to the strict structure we have both built, and is needed to write day in and day out. A sense of discipline that has bled into other areas of our lives.

For example, my mother tells a funny story about my father: we were kids; it was just JT (my younger brother) and I at the time (my sisters came later). Mom had done laundry and left the basket of clothes sitting on the couch to move onto the next task, telling herself she’d put them away later. They were folded, mind you, in neat little stacks, inside the basket. It wasn’t as if they were strung about the room. Well, the basket goes missing. She can’t for the life of her remember what she did with it, and can’t seem to find it anywhere. A couple of days later, by chance, she finds it behind the couch, tucked away where no one can see it. Apparently when my father had come home that day, he’d thought “This laundry basket doesn’t belong here on the couch, so instead I’ll stuff it behind the couch so I don’t have to see that it’s out of place.”

So, if you’re ever at my house and see my husband searching for something that he left out in plain sight, chances are I’ve stuffed it away where is doesn’t belong, just so I don’t have to look at it being out in the open.

We are Introvert Tricksters. Most writers would say they are introverted, which simply means they re-fuel from being alone, rather than being with people. The same is true for both my father and I. Though we tend to be tricky about it.

We are good with a crowd, great on stage, and energetic, which often confuses people when we admit that after hours of speaking with living, breathing humans, we need a moment alone with the voices in our heads.

We are always, Waking Dreamers. Sometimes talking to my father can be exhausting, because he has so many ideas. He’s an out-loud thinker. So am I. My poor husband could attest to the hours of time I’ve forced him to listen as I talk myself in circles about the same storyline, or the same hurdles I’m facing. I don’t necessarily want him to respond, I just need to bounce my voice off him.

The same is true with my ideas. I watched my father take on the world, watched him dream of being the best and striving for it. He wanted as much of this life as possible, and I often feel the same way. It’s hard not to get caught up in the glimmer of success. It’s hard to find contentment in each moment.

Thankfully, my dad has learned that nothing in the this life satisfies the way our Heavenly Father does, and in learning that truth for himself, he has infected me with the same idea. And for that I am forever grateful for.

In the end though, we are both just Children of the King. Actually, that is true for all of us.

We are the same, you and I, you and my dad. We are all connected because we are children of the highest Father. Brothers and sisters called to dine at the same table and live in eternity side by side.

This life is the journey of discovering we are all connected together. It’s true that I have reflections of my dad in me, traits that I’ve learned from him, but we all have reflections of each other. Because we truly are all the same.

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2016-11-05T15:12:33+00:00 On Writing|24 Comments
  • Karye Cook

    I love this inside look into the workings of your character and also how you relate to your dad! So proud my friend. Can’t wait to read your book!!!

    • Rachelle

      Thanks Karye! I can’t to hear what you think of the book!

  • Kelsey Keating

    You guys are so funny, but it’s so true! We are like our parents.
    And we are all alike 😉
    I totally get the tricky introvert thing – energetic and lively on stage only to crash afterward for maybe days.
    Loved this post. Love the inside look 🙂

    • Rachelle

      You are a tricky introvert, but one of the best!

  • lifeisstory

    Wow. I think you’ve got it down to a T. I haven’t had the pleasure of getting to know you quite so well, but you just managed to highlight all the things I love about your dad (wow…that makes me sound older than I am). So glad he passed along the traits so that there’s a second generation of Dekker to put on my shelf.

    • Rachelle

      Thanks Josh! For all your support thus far, can’t wait to get to know you better!

  • Evan Morgan

    Great post, Rachelle! I am in the same boat when it comes to being an Introvert Trickster. Last month, I had a long “argument” with my friends about whether or not I really was an introvert. They even forced me to take a test. My result was INFJ, which is an introvert that is easily mistaken for an extrovert because I actually love people. Life is compliacted! Haha

    • Rachelle

      I relate my friend! I love people too, sometimes I just don’t want to be around them. Haha!

    • Caitlyn Lutz

      Evan, I’m an INFJ as well, and I’ve decided to call myself an “outgoing introvert.” (Because labels are so important, and all.)

      • Rachelle

        Haha! I love outgoing introvert! I wish I had labeled it that!

  • Lee Ann Dekker

    Love this one Baby girl!! Kind of love you both to death!:) You nailed your Dad and yourself… proud of you (and him). so humbled and thrilled to walk this journey with you as your Mama. So excited to see where it all leads. You rock baby girl!! I find myself learning and be challenged to grow from the things you pour out on the pages of your books, blogs and FB post. Think we switched roles….LOL Love you to the moon and back!!!!!!!!

  • Kirby Schuler

    Awesome summary of the traits you both share and I’ve had the pleasure of meeting your dad twice. Was certainly just as cool in person if not cooler than his books! 😉 He and his writing both pull out many things from my own contemplation and emotionally rivets me to his story. I become a character in his writing and seriously look forward to stories from you! 😉

  • Stephanie Pazicni

    What a beautiful tribute, love this Rachelle! As I sit here in my pajamas (it’s almost noon), I can completely relate. <3

  • Darlene White

    Can’t wait to read your book! I have read everything Ted Dekker and LOVE his stuff. It always keeps me thinking – which I love.

  • Thanks for sharing. This was fun to read about your similarities and how you started writing. I have a writer at my house too! He’s into movie making! I think that your book The Choosing would make a great movie! Just saying. Is there going to be a sequel to The Choosing? If so what is the title and when will it be out! The Choosing touched my heart on so many levels! Wow!

  • Amy Ray

    Your dad is my favorite author! I found out about your book on his Facebook page and I am looking forward to reading it! I have since read some of your post and blogs and I enjoy them very much!! Keep up the good work and may God bless you!!!

  • Ashley Speer

    Well, I’m sold! I can admit I was feeling a little suspicious about Life is Stories assessment that you were as good a writer as your father, who happens to be my favorite writer! But I can see it here. You have a gift and I am very excited to read your first book, and the many more I am sure will follow!

  • Brittany Slavens-Hedge

    Your father is my favorite author! I was ecstatic to find you are writing as well! One already pre-ordered your book and cannot wait to dig in!

  • Caitlyn Lutz

    This is awesome, Rachelle. I’ve been deeply involved with the Circle community since 2006 and loved getting to know your dad though his books, blogs, and at Gatherings and signings through the years. I remember him talking about your upcoming wedding in Nashville 2008 and he kept getting the date wrong and the entire audience would have to correct him! I haven’t been able to grab The Choosing yet, but it’s definitely on my list. I admit, right now I mostly know you as Ted’s daughter, but even through the past few months following your writing process on FB, I am greatly looking forward to getting to know you as you. 🙂

    As I was reading this, I was thinking about all the ways I’m like my own dad. He passed on his love of science and convoluted sci-fi/fantasy to me, as well as his analytical mind that loves to hash out questions through long discussion, his ingenuity and “we could make that!” attitude, and of course his introversion. As well as a host of other godly traits and little quirks that I will forever be grateful for. Beautiful, no, the ways we carry our fathers in us? 🙂

    You should know, once I decide to love an artist, I’m all in. You can already consider me one of your devoted fans. I’ll be in your corner through this novel, and the next, and the next, and the next.

  • Dana Faletti

    Wow~ You do an amazing job describing what it’s like to be a writer. I love how you say we are ‘introvert tricksters’. I, too, struggle with this. I am a social person, but it’s that time alone with the voices in my head that recharges my battery. And, nothing provides that jolt to my soul like spending the day creating a new chapter or two. Such a great feeling. I am a huge fan of your Dad – most especially his Circle series, and I’m looking forward to your debut book! Congratulations on your success!

  • Savannah Jezowski

    I am so excited to learn there is another Dekker penning stories! Your upcoming novel has been added to my “must be read” list!

  • Kendall McCullough

    Besides being a fantastic storyteller with great life lessons this may be another reason why I love your Father’s (and I’m sure I will love yours) writings so much. The more I have come to know y’all, the more I see how we are so similar. It’s uncanny. This just re-affirms in my mind that I need to be a writer.

  • Kendall McCullough

    Besides being a fantastic storyteller with great life lessons this may be another reason why I love your Father’s (and I’m sure I will love yours) writings so much. The more I have come to know y’all, the more I see how we are so similar. It’s uncanny. This just re-affirms in my mind that I need to be a writer.

  • Pamela Temons

    First I want to say, Thank you for sharing that! I see my husband in that description, (Dramatic Feeler, Introvert Trickster, Walking Dreamer, OCD – he is the TOTAL PACKAGE) and it certainly helps me understand him better. I am an extrovert – and nothing tricky about it. I just love people and being around them recharges me. (I’m a teacher!)
    Second; I love what your dad writes, and now I am looking forward to getting to know you through what you write, as well! There is a clarity about God and about who we are in light of who He is that is unparalleled. And that you have already come to see yourself in that light, as such a young woman, is encouraging.
    Finally, I respect how much you embrace being like your father. I too am like my father, and it took me awhile to fully appreciate what a gift that really is. Congratulations and God Bless You.